This week I had the opportunity to serve at a local high school for an event to promote unity and connectivity within the school. Volunteers from the community, the schools, and local churches all rallied together to help run this event. Throughout the day, students played games and took part in small group discussion activities. Each of the volunteers (including myself) got to manage a small group of students. Our goal was to connect with students and set an example of how to share about ourselves and listen respectfully.
Through the event, we would often gather together and listen to the event leader's instructions about interacting with others and handling emotions. Each lesson gave some helpful pieces to managing emotions, yet I was struck by the ultimate futility of attempting to help someone else with their emotions or handle my own emotions through purely “secular” means. Without truth from scripture, each of us is enslaved by emotions. One form of this enslavement is having no control over our emotions. We simply lash out and respond to the world around us based on how we feel. “If I have a bad day, I am in a bad mood, and I will explode when someone pushes me over the limit.” The second form of enslavement is becoming a manager of emotions. “If I have a bad day, then I need to be encouraged by the people around me and have a self-care session; otherwise, I will explode.” Managing emotions has become much more common but still enslaves us to our emotions. I choose to cater to my emotions to avoid exploding. At the end of the day, I still don’t truly overcome negative emotions; I just drown them out. If my encouragement and coping mechanisms are removed, I am still going to lose control.
Scripture shares that there can be freedom from our emotions. A part of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5 is self-control. Believers no longer have to be slaves to their emotions. Do emotions still affect us? Absolutely. Do we still make mistakes and give in to our emotions? Absolutely. But is there a path beyond our emotional explosions? ABSOLUTELY. As believers, we also have a direct relationship with God. We no longer have to carry our emotions with us but can instead cast our burdens upon Christ and take up His rest and peace (Matt 11:28–30).
The second lesson of the day was focused on “lowering the water level.” Students were encouraged to share things about themselves that cannot be easily seen on the surface. Through this time of sharing, others were supposed to listen well and support those sharing but were not allowed to probe or give advice. Whatever was shared was only supposed to be validated, affirmed, and comforted. Much of this lesson is important and helpful. Being honest and open, turning to others for help, pursuing deep relationships, listening intentionally and caring for others, and creating a space to share are all very good things, but without further action, these aspects will not lead to true change or the ability to overcome current struggles. As Christians, we not only share our emotions and struggles; we also offer truth from Scripture and accountability to take steps toward change. “Lowering the water level” is necessary, but it is only the first step.
We offer truth from Scripture because often our emotions and perception cloud our ability to recognize truth. As others share deeply, we may recognize that what they believe is not true. For example, if I were to share that I felt unloved and did not believe that anyone could ever love me, that perceived truth should not be affirmed by those around me. It is simply not true, and I would want my group to tell me so. I would want them to show me John 3:16, where Christ claims that God loves me. I would want them to share events in my life that show that I am loved by others. I would want them to correct my perspective so that I can overcome my emotions.
Furthermore, we offer accountability to bring about lasting change. Without accountability, one can offer truth, but I would then be wholly responsible for implementing that truth into my life on my own. Yet, as I am sure we can all recognize, when we are left on our own, we often fail. Especially when a task is difficult or complex, accountability is an act of love. It is committing to walk beside someone who is struggling and carry their burden with them. This takes commitment from each person. The one who is struggling must openly and consistently allow the other to check in and help. The one who is helping must consistently and lovingly check in and offer the truth. When we can honestly share, we bring our emotions to the light. This step is necessary for finding truth and healing, but it is only one step. To truly overcome and find healing, we must continue to seek truth and accountability, and all of this must be done in submission to the Spirit of God and with the guidance of the truth of Scripture.
I am so glad that these students were able to gather together and share. I do hope that Challenge Day can create a culture of unity and encouragement within their school. However, I also recognize that without the truth of the gospel and the love of Christ, we are all simply slaves to emotions simply trying to manage them so that we do not lose control. I pray that our members at Faith can be honest, seek truth, and accept accountability, and I pray that we can carry the hope and freedom offered in the gospel to a world that is desperately seeking it.
Bro. Tyler