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This past year, I became a part of something I had successfully avoided until now: being part of an HOA. While there are shared benefits in having homeowners partner together, I am learning that it can also seem like it’s not worth the hassle. I have participated in meetings, email chains, and Facebook groups that have more drama than a telenovela.

To be clear, the other homeowners are not young people who "can't even right now." Most are over 55 years old. Yet their age hasn’t stopped them from acting sophomoric in their word choices, tones, and reactions.

Recently, there was significant uproar over a renovation project due to concerns about the cost and the quality of the work delivered thus far. After witnessing the situation firsthand, I asked for a contact person to discuss the matter with. I was given a name and phone number and scheduled a call with the individual.

We had a 20-minute chat that was temperate, factual, accountable, and actionable. After the call, I thought, "This is not nearly as big a deal as many others made it out to be, nor was it hard to find clarity about."

Isn't that how life with others often is? Things don’t need to be nearly as complicated as we sometimes make them. Much of the chaos could be avoided if we simply used the gift God has granted us: the ability to communicate.

God, in His goodness, created us with the capacity for thought, hearing, speech, comprehension, and decision-making. He then made us relational beings so we could enjoy this gift with one another. Yet how often do we fail to use it as we should, with whom we should, when we should, or why we should?

Here are a few reminders about helpful, daily communication with those around us:

1. Don’t Assume—Talk It Out

The average person doesn’t believe in psychics...until it comes to communication. We either assume we know what the other person is thinking or that they should automatically know what we are thinking. We would all do better to discuss what’s on our minds or ask others for clarity instead of relying on assumptions.

2. Operate in Truth, Not Feelings

Emotions are a gift from God, but they are tainted by sin and need temperance by the Spirit. Nothing derails healthy communication like emotionally driven words. I’m not advocating for robotic conversations, but allowing our emotions to control our communication is selfish and, at times, even satanic.

3. Remember the Goal

Often in communication, our goal is to be right and have others agree with us. While that may be applicable at times, the greater goals are understanding and unity in the relationship—no matter the context. Relationships often rupture because one or both parties forget the purpose of their communication and trade it for the shallow trophy of "being right."

4. Accept When You’re Wrong and Seek Reconciliation

If unity and understanding are the goals of healthy communication, it’s inevitable that we will sometimes be wrong—whether about a matter itself or in how we handled it. "I was wrong; please forgive me" are some of the most vulnerable yet powerful words we can say to another human being. When was the last time you said those words to someone?

In a property with many doors, there’s often one "master key" that opens all of them, granting access to the keyholder. Friends, God has given you a master key for interacting with others, creating connections, and building lasting, rich relationships. That master key is communication.

Serving together,
Pastor Paul